


Conversations

by TheBadgerCongregation



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: But it's mostly squelch noises and the word 'gore' a lot, Crossover, Does contain some depictions of violence, Drabbles, Fairly short, Gen, It is Deadpool after all, Not for the squeamish, voices
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3973420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBadgerCongregation/pseuds/TheBadgerCongregation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool has lots of conversations, and they're not all in his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forever and Always

Wade-  _ blah blah chimichanga _

White box: **[blah blah]**

Yellow box: **{blah blah}**

The static in Deadpool’s head was especially loud today, and his skull felt crowded even with the hole currently blown through it. White and yellow were arguing again, and although today’s hit was easy it involved taking out 72 men. As messily as possible.

 

** [You are a vile consciousness. I cannot believe I share the same head with you.] **

 

** {Well mister gummy bears and dandelions it seems that we’re stuck here forever because this little shithead seems to be immortal.} **

 

** [Mm, yes, it does seem that way- and it doesn’t help when you act like a damn thigh-master with sentience!] **

 

** {Blah blah blah exercise equipment blah blah blah big words-} **

The henchmen seemed to have a lot of weapons and a lot of body armor. That didn’t stop him. He just felt like it needed to be pointed out. There were several thumps and a wet squelch as four pieces of two men fell atop each other on the blood-splattered floor. Oh look a grenade-!

_** BATHOOOMP ** _

The explosive detonated against an armored chest as Deadpool reflected it with his katana, and three more targets were down.

** [-and you just spit out the most random of words-] **

 

** {Yeah and like you don’t, Mr. Boobs and Tinkerbell?} **

Four left- no, three and a half-  _ now  _ three. The hole in his skull had long since healed and the only gore still on him belonged to the corpses littered around and on the walls of the concrete room. He grinned under his mask at the remaining three, and shot until the walls were visible from the other side of their chests. And he was done.

It would have been quiet- should have been quiet- but

** {Chucklehead, I swear that if I had a body and/or hands I would rip out your spine through your nose!} **

 

** [I’m sure that would be very satisfying if we were more than voices in the head of an immortal-] **

Deadpool slapped the teleporter on his belt and pomfed into existence in front of his couch in his apartment, putting his hands on his hips and letting out a gravelly sigh of victory. Shoving two half-empty bags of stale Doritos off of the couch onto the threadbare carpet, he plopped down and took off his mask, scratching his bare head, and tuned back in to the voices.

** {Well, I see someone has decided to join the party, haven’t ya, you freak of nature?} **

** [Huh, yes, finally. I need to speak to someone other than this yellow dunderhead-] **

“Uihghhh. Shut up. They have Baywatch reruns starting in two minutes.”

** {Did you say Baywatch?!} **

 

** [Oh ho yes he did my polka-dotted friend. Time for lots of boobs and bathing suits-] **

 

** {Look there, you did it again, you monkey-assed butterfly! Since when have I ever been polka-dotted? I am in standard graphic novel font on a gradient yellow text box and you- oh, you are just courier new on white, you- you...} **

 

** [...] **

 

** {...} **

The television blasted the 90s soap opera theme song through the dingy apartment, and the boxes shut up at the slow motion introduction.

_ I'll be ready _

_ (Whenever you fear) oh don't you fear _

_ (I'll be ready) _

_ Forever and always, I'm always here _

Deadpool frowned, and shot the wall absent-mindedly.

 


	2. People Vision

Something strange happened after Deadpool died in that warehouse explosion he set off by accident. Actually, it was less strange and more unexpected.

He saw his text boxes.

Well, he saw them occasionally- the boxes that floated around, but they never actually were there and it was easy to see through them if you wanted to. What really pissed him off, though, was that no matter what he did he couldn’t get anyone else to see them, and eventually he just gave up and held the conversations by himself. Lucky assholes, not having to deal with these two bitching about butter or margarine or Yasmine Bleeth or Jennifer Lawrence. But now he could see his boxes like they were people.

It was just another break, he thought, picking himself up off of the concrete roof of an abandoned tenement near the warehouse. White was a lanky man with soft-looking black hair and huge hands attached to arms that seemed to be made to always be crossed. Yellow was a short being, looking somewhere around 19 or so, wearing a massive yellow hoodie and possessing a ragmop head of brown hair.

**[Well I see someone has finally come back to life. We missed that other Baywatch rerun, asshole.]**

“Yeah well I was dead, you snagglepuss, so keep your shit together and let’s go home. Did we get the mark?”

**{Oh hell yeah! You blasted his brains so hard out of the back of his head that they came out of his ass!}**

White sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated, and it was odd for Deadpool to see his boxes as a humanoid manifestation-

“Yo guys I can see you now, this is weird.” Yellow squinted at him.

 

**{Bro you’ve always been able to see us.}**

“No I mean you look like people! It’s pretty rad.”

**[Rad, humanoid, or box, I just want to go home and use the damn bathroom and then watch lots of boobs because if I see any more inside-y parts I’m gonna destroy your frontal lobe.]**

 

**{Well that was really harsh, dude.]**

 

“Yeah! What the hell, man?”

**{Also when have we ever gotten sick of inside-y parts? We might as well be made of inside-y parts!}**

 

**[We are made of inside-y parts you biscotti baboon.]**

“Oh come on. He knew that one!” The concrete was full of blood in a vague human form where he'd landed,

**{I didn’t actually but who actually knows about World War I, come on!}**

“He has a point,” Deadpool said, leaping off of the building.

 

**[Who said anything about World War I?]**

 

**{I did, doofus.}**

**[ I know about World War I!]**

**{Really?}** “Really?”

White turned his nose up. **[Not really, but who cares anyway.]**

 


End file.
